Miroku's One shots!
by Xeno-man
Summary: I will be posting One Shots about Miroku as i think of them. Miroku has a Nasty Case of Hiccups. Miroku's Tornment the tables have turned. Miroku's Drinking Problems Craziness of Sak'e and Sprite.
1. Miroku's Hiccups

Disclaimer: I do not own Inuyasha. Your writing again just give up you only have like ten reviews.  
  
Xeno-man: So I enjoy writing this. 'Yeah and the fact I have soooo much free time.'  
  
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-----Miroku's Hiccups----  
  
"Hentai!" the earth shook as Miroku was smacked to the floor.  
  
"This is my only remaining Curse(Hiccup)." He sighed and walked out of the tavern.  
  
"AND WHAT HAVE YOU BEEN DOING?" Sango has laid in wait for the hentai to emerge.  
  
"Sango! (hiccup)" he sighed and hiccupped again.  
  
"YOU DARE TOUCH ANOTHER WOMAN AND I WILL NEVER FORGIVE YOU!!" Miroku cowered in fear at the thought of a Sangoless future.  
  
"Alri- (hiccup)." 'Crap hiccups and Sango is mad at me.' He bowed. "Im Sor- (hiccup)."  
  
"Your what?" She put a hand on her ear.  
  
"I'm Very So- (hiccup Hiccup Hiccup)" 'I can't exactly call these hiccups violent because of what she has done to me.'  
  
"Fine then if your not going to apologize I guess I won't cure your hiccups." She walked away when Inuyasha and Kagome walked over.  
  
"Oi! Whats (hiccup) up?" 'Dammit.'  
  
"Keh you have the hiccups?" Inuyasha laughed to himself.  
  
"Drinking water helps you know." Kagome informed him also handing him a large bottle of water.  
  
"Thats great thanks." He uncapped it and started to drink the whole thing.  
  
"Did it work?" Kagome asked.  
  
"Might ha- (hiccup)." 'Oh crap.'  
  
"I heard if you cut off an Arm they go away." Inuyasha quickly unsheathed Tetsaiga and swung down very quickly stopping right before Miroku's arm.  
  
"I JUST (HICCUP) GOT RID OF A CURSE ON THAT ARM I'D LIKE TO USE IT!" Miroku was very pissed and scared.  
  
"Scaring him isn't going to work." They all thought as they walked to their camp site.  
  
"I know!" Kagome Jumped into her giant sized bag and pulled out a harness and a bottle of apple sauce.  
  
"Kagome whats with the harness?" Miroku was thinking some perverted ideas about her and Inuyasha.  
  
"I was keeping it just incase we needed to keep you locked away while we bathe." Kagome stuck the harness on him and hung him upsidedown. "Now eat this." She spooned him some apple sauce. She fed him the entire gallon jar.  
  
"Did it work?" She looked at him carefully.  
  
"Ummm (Hiccup) NO ERHG!" He then got sick and threw up from eating so much apple sauce.  
  
"Ewww lets try something else (Hiccup)." Kagome was pissed now. "Now I have them."  
  
"Hey Kagome what color are you hiccups?" Inuyasha asked.  
  
"Ummmm blue?" She didn't hiccup. "Oh wow that works!"  
  
"Miroku what color are your hiccups?"  
  
"Purple! YES! (Hiccup) NO!" He released the harness dropping him onto the ground very hard and very fast.  
  
"Wow these are some hiccups." They entire group was in deep thought except Miroku who was constantly Hiccuping.  
  
"So the Hentai still has the hiccups." She was angry so she was enjoying this.  
  
"Yeah (Hiccup) I d-(Hiccup)-o."  
  
"Tie him up I have an idea." Inuyasha held out a knife when they finished securing him to the tree. "Oi Bozou Im going to cut you up and hopefully your hiccups will be forgotten." He unfolded the sharp knife and quickly cut Miroku's Shoulder. "GAH!"  
  
"WHOA THATS TOO DRASTIC!" Inuyasha Cut Miroku again across his chest making him cry out in pain. They quickly pounced on Inuyasha to get him to stop.

"Not even that Hentai deserves that."  
  
"(hiccup) DAMMIT!" Miroku very pissed off broke his bonds and ran off.  
  
"I'll try next." Sango slowly followed.  
  
Miroku had ran far away standing on a cliff looking out to the setting sun. "(hiccup) My Affliction (Hiccup) Kee (hiccup)ps Inhib(Hiccup) iting my (Hiccup) Speech." He put out his arms to feel the wind around him. 'At one point the wind was my curse but now I find comfort in it.'  
  
A woman embraced him tightly from behind, Miroku Glanced at her to see it was Sango.  
"I'm Pregnant."  
  
"WHAT!!! WHEN DID THIS HAPPEN!" His Hiccups were gone. "BUT I HAVEN'T WITH YOU AND I AND YOU AND ER! I LOVE YOU!" She released him and he quickly hugged her tightly.  
  
"I was kidding I thought it would get rid of Your hiccups." She looked away blushing.  
  
"Thank you My dear Sango."  
  
This is the First of my Miroku oneshots! I decided to take a break from my usual Story which I never get reviews in (I realize some characters where not so gradually changed to OOC)  
  
And to all you Miroku fans! Ja ne!


	2. Miroku's Torment

Disclaimer: Damn you Xeno your such a freak why cant you be normal.  
  
Xeno-man: Just shut up and do your job (waves some cash)  
  
Disclaimer: Cha-ching I do not own Inuyasha.  
  
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Miroku's Torment  
  
"Everyday its the samething I grope Sango and she slaps me. Getting married is only a matter of time and yet she still objects to me groping her." He sat in the corner of his new home.

"Miroku Are you home?" A female voice sounded.

"Yeah I'm here." He only had a few rooms it wouldn't be hard to find him.  
'Shes here but what do I say.' He looked to his momento of his Master Mushin.  
'Help me out here. Wait forget that.'

"So how have you been holding up?" Sango held a book in front of her.  
The cover was blue and tattered. She sat next to him to get her usual daily suprise.  
(GROPE!) (SLAP!) "I THOUGHT I TOLD YOU TO STOP!" She sat again and handed him the book. "I found this Yesturday in the backroom." The book's cover revealed to be Mushin's notes on Spells.

"Arigato." He look at the book it reeked of ale of a strong brew. "Even his notes are soaked in Sak'e" He turned to Sango with a small smile on his face. "Sango I had promised to marry you after Naraku was defeated. Sango Will you marry me?" He held her hand with a firm graps.

"Of course." She let go of his hand and hugged him tightly.

"OI! MIROKU!" The book shouted its sounded vaguely like Mushin. "So you are going to get married."

"Kami-sama! A talking book." He moved his hand to open the cover to the first page.

"Miroku how long has it been? a year maybe?" The book's page looked like Mushin's face.  
"Congrats, Miroku but I warn you never open this book Ever."

"Why Mushin if you wrote this I should be able to see this." He tried to turn the page the book shut in reflex.

"Don't you dare I'm sealed in here." He the book opened to the first page again.

"Miroku is that really Mushin?" She poked Mushin's Eye. "He sound like him."

"Yeah I know." Miroku closed the book and picked it up. "Sango When shall we wed?"  
He grasped her hand again and bowed his head for an answer.

"How about in a week!" She was so happy she hugged him tightly and kissed him.  
"We must Invite Inuyasha and Kagome." She hugged him so tightly he dropped the book opening it to about the middle of the book. The ground began to shake lightly and a stream of purple energy erupted from the book and into Sango. Knocking her out

"SANGO! ARE YOU ALRIGHT?" He sat at her side with worry. He felt a hand on his crotch.  
"WHOA! Hello!" He jumped up and backfliped away. Sango arose and ran to his side.

"Miroku why wait to get married can we have children now?" She grabbed his but this time Causing a reflexive front flip.

"Sango you've gotten forward." 'I always wondered how she would be if she was like that'  
He smirked a bit. 'This is the book's curse it wouldn't be fair.' He changed his experssion and tone to stern. "Sango we will marry and have children when we break this curse." 'Don't fail me now self control.'

"Onegai Miroku!" She made puppy eyes and hugged him tightly. "Why wait can't we now?"  
she sounded totally commited to him.

"Hold on as soon as we lift the curse we will." He sat back down and opened the book to the first page. "How do we reverse the curse on Sango?" he waved a bottle of Sak'e in front of the book.

"Oh thats simple show you truly love her." He was drooling at the sight of Sango all over him and the Sak'e but mostly the Sak'e. "ONEGAI THE BOTTLE!" Miroku poored the bottle on the book and closed it.

"How can I show her I love her when she is cursed. It wouldn't be fair." 'Especially for what I was thinking' He snapped back to reality from his groin being groped. He jumped away. "Sango please control yourself."

"But Miroku I want you." Her tone became seductive. "How about it?" She winked at him.

'Self control, Self control, Self control, Self control, Self control'  
She hugged him tightly again really pushing her chest against him.

'This outta get him.' She kissed him and he fell victim to her spell.'Forget restraint I love her she loves me.' He turned the hug around to her and kissed her.  
"I love you and I also wish to be with you but I care about how this curse is affecting you."  
He got up and walked into the hallway pondering ways to show her his love for her without taking advantage of her. He sighed, "She's gonna be a handful now." 'She already got three handfuls of me. I've gotten about six hundred and forty five up on her.'  
  
"Why doesn't he want to be with me?" She sat in the corner sulking. "I wish I could show him I love him." She got up and looked out the window. "Stupid book." She kicked the book away without looking.

'How will I show her I truly love her.' He sat on the roof looking out to the sun set. 'I remember the old days when I really went after her and also kept her at bay.' He recalled the groping, peepings, and Moments they shared.

'I GOT IT!' He sprug up and hopped to his feet then began to run down the roof and into the room where Sango was. "Sango!" He was a little frantic at his realization of the answer. "Aishiteru." He ran to her and hugged her. Stealing a grope in the process.  
  
"Hentai!" She slapped him. "The Curse its broken!" She hugged him so tightly and affectionatly the just melted in each others presence. "Aishiteru, Miroku."  
  
'Finally I may life my dream.'  
  
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Ahhh... fluffyness my favorite pairing.


	3. Miroku's Drinking Problems

Disclaimer: I do not own Inuyasha.  
  
Xeno-man: I wish i could atleast own Miroku my favorite character.  
  
Miroku: If you like me so much why give me DRINKING PROBLEMS?!  
  
Xeno-man: Yoshi is joining you so its ok.  
  
Miroku: Hes only 15 where do you get off.  
  
Xeno-man: What ever dude.  
  
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Miroku's Drinking Problems---  
  
Note: To readers This involves more than one drinking problem.  
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"Oi! Miroku join me!" Yoshi sat at the indoor bar he put into Mushin's shrine.  
He drank the rest of his dink and poured some more.  
  
"Nani?" (A/N mean what? or in this case What the hell?) "Your only fifteen you can't drink."  
He sat down to notice he was drinking his usual Bottle of Sprite he had bought from the future.  
"Oh that stuff you consume so much of it how do you do it?"  
  
"Easy its good tasting." He poured Miroku some sak'e into a normal serving cup. "You get the 'Adult' stuff."

Miroku drank it quickly and poured another.  
  
"You better get another four bottles out." He drank another cup and then skipped pouring and just drank from the bottle. "You never know how much i'll drink."

"Come to think of it I've never seen you drink before." He downed another liter of his sprite threw the bottle away and got another one.

"Yeah I never really drank much." He downed another full bottle of Sak'e." He picked up another bottle."Two, This stuff is great." He continued to drink one bottle every minute.

"Wow you really put that stuff away." He finished off another two liter throwing it into the giant bin behind him.

"heeehheheheh I see why Mushin rally likesss thisss stuuf." Miroku was drunk well beyond drunk.

"I got Smashed!" He downed another bottle and then immediatly after that another one.

"Dude stop!" He tried to restraint Miroku from drinking but Miroku just overpowered him.

"Great Stuuf I tell yah." He continued his drinking practicly uninhibited by Yoshi despite his best efforts.

Much later Miroku is still drinking Yoshi gave up and started replacing hte contents of each bottle of sak'e that was left.

"Ooooo this is even better." he didn't notice the much different taste or the carbination he just liked it.

"What is this?" He sobered up pretty fast. "TELL ME!" He grew into a blood lusting crazy and soon started chasing yoshi around the homebar Yoshi had made for him with a broke bottle shard.

"ITS SPRITE!" 'Sango will thank me for this since he isn't a violent drunk now'  
Miroku ran to the stash of special soda. "OH GOD NO!!!"

"Yum!" Miroku now starting a Sugar high began consuming Sprite even faster than the Sak'e

"Greatstuffohmygawditsthebestisn'tityoshi?" Yoshi was inshock his stash was going faster than light.

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" He fell to his knees in shock.

"Yum yum." Miroku finally finished the last of the Sak'e and sprite promptly passing out.  
".......... Sango...... Sprite..." Yoshi dragged him into the Futon and walked away.That Morning

"What happened last night uhhh my head." He curled on his side in pain.  
  
"You got drunk and drank all my sprite." Yoshi Kicked Miroku in the back of the head.

"Now you have the after affects of a Sugar rush and a hang over."

"Oh Kami-sama, My head is pounding." He reached for his staff to hold himself up.  
"I'll get you breakfast Sango will be home today." After that the day went on no more different than usual."I'm Home Miroku!" Yoshi popped his head into the hallway.

"What are you doing here?" His head popped back into the room.  
She heard a hammer banging. She proceeded to the room to see Yoshi Fixing up the bar he had put in for them as their wedding present.  
  
"I figured i'd fix it up a bit." He flipped a switch and lights came on.  
  
"Arigato, You put in electricity." He motioned to a sleepin heep of sheets laying on the floor.  
  
"He fell asleep he sorta had a hang over and a sugar rush and he sorta drank all my sprite."  
She could imagine Yoshi beating Miroku with a stick trying to get him to cease his drinking.  
  
"I knew I shoulda told you about that." She pulled out a box and put it next to Miroku.  
"A present from the villagers I picked up on the way back." She sat next to Miroku's sleeping body and shook her head.  
  
"Heh, he doesn't remember much of last night." He poured himself some of the remaining sprite.  
  
"Kagome and Inuyasha have had a child." She stroked Miroku's head.  
  
"Wow I should congratulate them." He handed her a package.  
"Heres the photos you asked for." He spilt a bit of spriting on Miroku.  
"Woops." The drops got to his mouth and He sprung up.  
  
"SPRITE!" He didn't even realize Sango was there. "SPRITE!"  
He ran after Yoshi in a blind fit of lust crying Sprite.  
  
"Oh My I better stop him." Sango went to get Hiraikotsu.  
She came back soon and promptly Bashed Miroku on the head.  
  
"Never let him have Sprite again." He sighed.  
  
"Gotcha."  
  
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Drinking problems eh, Entertaining isn't it? Review is you wish.  
  
He pulls out a two liter of the prized soda and begins to drink it when suddenly  
  
Miroku flies out from behind a bush to chase him. "SPRITE!!!!!!!!"  
  
AHHH "END END END!"


End file.
